(Thumbnail image from KendraCanDraw Tumblr)
As some of you may already know, I like watching YouTube. It’s one of my favorite things I like to do near the end of the day when I’m done with all my work and junk. I like watching vlogs, lookbooks, tutorials or anything else I find to be interesting, while I munch down on my popcorn with a throw over my shoulders.
And as some of you may already know (again) I watch a lot of female YouTubers too.
So watching them so many times a week…sometimes everyday depending on how many times they upload, I begin to see certain patterns, characteristic traits and just their overall life of how they act or what they do on a daily basis.
But some of the things that I have noticed with some of the YouTubers that I have watched (faithfully or non-faithfully) was some of their outlooks on women. I know that sounds kind of weird, but I have came across a lot of YouTubers who have done get ready with me’s or just normal vlogs that have mentioned that they can’t get along with other girls, and that they were bullied by girls when they were younger. They often say that girls are too catty, they gossip too much and that they can only befriend guys because they don’t cause drama like girls do.
And I heard IAmKareno say this, I heard Tara Michelle say this, I heard Kellie Sweet say this and I have heard SimplyNessa15 and a few other YouTubers say the same thing. But yet they can hang out with very demeaning or non-supportive guy friends that you can tell probably do the same thing, if not worse.
And I have seen this multiple times since I watch so many female YouTubers, and seen how they view other girls in a very negative or almost jealous way, but don’t view guys in that same light. Which is not healthy considering that they have a very large female based audience that like their style, their personality or just their overall content that they make on their channel, who aspire to be like them.
But this goes beyond famous YouTubers on the internet, but everyday, average girls that I have seen this with too, that think the same way. Thinking girls are bully’s, gossipers, fighters or lairs and having a mentality of “I don’t trust her” because of what they were taught or saw in their household, school or on T.V.
Which is not something to be looked at lightly, but is actually a very dangerous way of thinking that I think often times gets ignored and pushed under the rug.
That’s why I thought to make a post today addressing this issue, and give some type of solution and advice to fixing this problem; to hopefully help people wake up and stop ignoring/suppressing this dilemma, and start supporting other girls instead.
Parents need to step it up
To end this epidemic of girls not supporting girls, we first have to start with the one’s that are allowing this in the first place. Which are the parents.
Girls don’t just grow up to be bully’s for no reason, it stems from something. And yes, a good percentage of it does have to deal with media, their neighborhood, etc, like I just mentioned, but it also comes from a large percentage on how their parents/household treat them, and what influences they put on them while growing up.
Parents and other older figures need to teach girls to uplift other girls, instead of tearing them down or letting other guys or people influence their daughters. And by no means am I saying to encourage them to not hang out with other guy friends or not have any type of male contact, because that’s extreme. But I feel like they should encourage them to be respectful to everybody they come across, but especially themselves and their own gender, since that is who they are and will always be.
Girls having this inner feeling to be competitive, fight or bully other girls can only develop if that’s how they were raised. So once they have a foundation of not wanting to fight or belittle other girls, it will break the cycle of broken girls breaking other girls, because they’re actually raised to respect who they are and other people around them.
Another way to stop the epidemic of girls suppressing other girls, is intervening between situations that you know you can prevent or help with. Whether it’s in your school, at your home or online, call out that girl who is doing the damage to another girl, and speak up for her if she’s to shy to say something back.
You don’t have to fight or scream at the girl who’s bullying, but you can break it up by trying to reason with their actions, reporting it to a higher official, or even asking God (yes God) to intervene with the situation.
I know I don’t bring this up often on my blog, but prayer really does have power, so if you see something that’s distressing you that you know you can’t break up physically or verbally, God has the power to be your battle-axe to fight for you and that other person too.
I personally have not been in a situation where a girl was purposely harassing or fighting another girl in front of me. But I would most definitely use the second and last option if I didn’t know what to do, because God is a fair and justice God that always works in balance no matter what the case is, and will fix the situation justly.
Finally, girls have to remember to support each other. That means talking to each other, encouraging each other and complimenting each other. We have to stop being pitted against our own gender and believing that guys are only friends when there are thousands of women that are not out to get us.
And I know making friends in general is hard, since like-minded people aren’t the easiest to find. But supporting doesn’t always mean being buddy-buddy with a person.
You can support by following another female blogger/YouTuber that you think has great style. You can buy a product by a female owned business. You can give a girl a compliment on her outfit, hair, nails, etc. Supporting can be small or big, but as long as you put forth that effort of trying to support fellow girls that’s all that matters.
So don’t think you have to do something super grand just to get recognized as a person that’s actually taking action against girl issues. Because something as little as talking to your sister or mom about something positive that happened in your day, can lead you in the right direction of supporting, learning, listening and spending time with each other.
We have to break the bent of knowingly or unconsciously passing negative things down, or teaching other girls this. If girls don’t have proper role models or discussions of how bullying their own gender can become dangerous, the cycle will never end, and their will always be this pit against other females. Women and girls are awesome and deserve respect from anybody, but do need some type of guideline or support from their own kind.
And I know there’s other type of bullying going on constantly and not just this type. But today I just thought to address this issue, and show some awareness, advice and encouragement to my fellow sisters.